Friday, September 25, 2015

Time for War: Khorne Daemonkin First Impressions

Time changes all things.  Long warp-battered, a blood-hulk finally emerges from that place of frothed reality.  A stalwart warrior who stood against the madness for a long and bitter campaign now screams for skulls beneath dead eyes.  The urge to triumph has overwhelmed all else within him, for even bitter enemies may become the closest allies when the war forces them together.  The prince of pleasure, the king of lies, their titles mean nothing to one who will wear a crown of blood. 

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Time for War: CSM v. BA Simultaneous

The armories rumble, the mouths chant, the planet wails.  Over the horizon, a grim wall of marching men and crushing treads advances, their grim resolve already weakening the defenders.  What hope can their be?  Walls of ceramite-bound flesh advance, and the fate of the city is near - wait a minute, are those cult marines?  Orbital bombardments wipe out those poor slow bastards and everybody takes the afternoon off.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Philosofelt: Skyhammer Anhilliation Force

Beyond the reaches of what you know, there wait terrors that may be glimpsed from afar.  Wailings upon the warp-ways bring hints, damned souls babbling of powers incomprehensible.  Do you really think that all that can be known is contained within your little books, lying impotent upon a dusty shelf?  Nay, there wait secrets within the darkness between the stars that may only be glimpsed by those willing to pay the ultimate price: ~$700 USD.

Saturday, July 4, 2015

Tactica: Simultaneous Loving Baby

I wanted a picture of two Adeptus Astartes kissing, but this game is too hetero for such a thing to be found on the internet.
There's a lot of bitching about rules, and units, and units with rules.  I do quite a bit of it myself.  But when it comes down to it, I think my biggest bitch has to do with alpha strikes.  I myself beta strike, so I'm not one of these filthy jerks, and I only do it because the cool kids are.  Seeing 20% or more of your army evaporate on the first turn is....really dumb.  It sucks the fun out of the game.  So many matches are won or lost on the dice roll to go first.  Since the casual season is coming up fast, it's led me to think our first week of games might be a little lab experiment....

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Time for War: CW Eldar v. Daemons

Deep within the fortress-yomamasteries of the planet Saddius Prime, there was heard a wailing.  It was one of pain, of loss, of yearning.  The Vaginus Custodes regarded the crying ones with eyes of metal that could not shed tears.  "It's not fair!"  The broken ones cried.  "It's not fair!"  Was it a fresh cry, or an echo among the endless corridors?  Outside, a Whambulance tore through the atmosphere, weighted with those who could not wage war.  They would find a dusty end here.  Within this forgotten planet, all those who had too much bitch in them would forever decry the war.  Outside, the war would continue.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Philosofelt - ITC Polls and the Favorite Child

Erratic jerks of a servitor-harness scribed the last characters upon the last scroll of e-vellum.  The poll was completed, a labor that consumed the attention of a score of Monastery worlds.  Everywhere, the signs of a battle of words had left the victors scarred and haggard.  Ink stains spread like blood upon the exposed skin of the tech-thralls.  Here a scalding inkpot had tipped, a legion of paint mixers burned alive; the scribes ten feet away had not paused in their writing.  The call for another reckoning had come too soon after the last great push for them to reset the mile-long printing wheels, to harvest the skins of a continent's worth of space sheep.  But Reecius, commander of the ITC fleet, must take the counsel of each of his uncounted generals; the scribe-servitors must labor until they fall.  Those who had survived the conflict of quill and eye strain did not pause to bury their acres of dead; for they knew that Space Marshal Rawdogger was bloated with opinion.

Friday, April 24, 2015

Philosifelt - Codex Craftworlds Eldar


The rumor mill is shooting out hunks of bone and gristle, coating the onlookers faces with a torrent of gore.  So it goes, a terror unlike we have ever seen before.  Well, I'm lying, it's mostly the same terror, it's just a little more terrible.  I'm talking about the new Eldar Codex of course.  It's not out yet, but the rumors for the last N books have been correct, so we'll assume these are as well.  And it doesn't look good for the game at large.
We're going to solve a mystery - the prime suspects are US and GW.  We'll ask what's the point, where it started, who we're going to be annoyed at, and when this pain train will end.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Read a Book: Khorne Daemonkin

Judging by the number of bicep tattoos I've seen, Khorne is the most popular of the chaos gods. 
Judging by the number of models I've seen on the table, Khorne is the least popular of the chaos gods. 
And now here I am, judging Khorne.  I'll be up front - I've played a lot of CSM and a lot of Daemons, but I ain't never fielded no Khorne.  However, I understand how an assault army works, and guess what?  The most predictable god likes to smash lots of bodies into the opponent.
Today we'll be looking at what the codex adds (and doesn't add), what seem to be the standouts, and some sample lists.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Season of the Carnifex - Kraxxus Evacuation Protocol

Amidst the din of chaos consuming the moons of Phalanx, A distress call is heard from one of the larger moons. Kraxxus is under siege! Though the message is difficult to make out, it appears that the mining operation on Kraxxus has uncovered some strange xenos archeotech that has reactivated itself and is potentially sending its own distress beacon.
Not far away in Erinyes Nebula, alien eyes descend upon the source of the beacon, soon thereafter followed by the silent wake of their sleek starships.
Just as the attacking forces start to arrive at the battlefield, the defenders erect a forcefield cutting off a portion of the attacking forces. Likewise, the defender has dedicated a portion of their force to facilitate evacuation while the rest remain behind to buy them time and recover the archeotech data.

Friday, March 6, 2015

Season of the Carnifex - The Secrets of Tetragon 38

Between the warp and the divine is the Imperium of Man, that stretches across the breadth of the galaxy.  Between two sides of the war that tear at the Imperium is the Segmentum Obscura, which contains much that is uncharted.  Between two swathes of primal nebulae that gyre within that unknown, the Kailon Peninsula crouches silent.  Between the systems Ossirius and Clotho within that cluster of stars, the void flares.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Battle Reports - LVO 2015

Just back from Vegas where the Daemons large and small failed to rampage properly.  I came in 78th, far from the top tables, but was happy to see both Daemons and CSM reach the top tables.  You can always get validation through association if you can't get it personally.  I lost my first and last games, and got honestly middling scores throughout the tournament.  Everyone was playing MUCH harder than they were at the BAO, with a litany of great opponents, beautiful armies and good sportsmanship humming in my ear.  Battle-by-battle after the jump.

Monday, February 9, 2015

eXtreme Kitbash - Flesh Hounds of "Khorne"

Some projects we undertake for their challenge, some for the beauty, some for the passion.  Some, we undertake because it's number N on a list, ticking towards completion.  So it was that I decided that my army needed a pack of flesh hounds.  The internet seems to love them, so should I?  I'm also in on the FTGT hobby budget challenge, which is pushing me in that illogical way like Xbox achievements do.  February done, $40.

Monday, February 2, 2015

Sunday Battle Reports

It was a bad day for those of us bound for the LVO less than a month from now.  Ezra's speeder swarm was handily defeated by footdar, and my own CSM/Daemon cocktail lost 9-1 to the winning list from BAO 2014.  I've gotten pretty solid on what I'm taking, though my confidence is now rocking.  I need a string of victories to feel like this is actually going to compete.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Tactica - Running a Daemon Summoning List

So you wanna summon daemons, huh kid?  You want to keep your heresy to a minimum, and work within the fluff?  While any army (except the shiniest of the Space Catholics) can work off of Malefic Daemonology, my experience has been in summoning daemons with daemons, or occasionally, with those who aspire to daemonhood.  My prime focus since 7th came out has been working the daemon factory.  It's a simple machine at it's heart, but like the humble Honda Civic, you can customize to your heart's content.  To work properly, you're going to need to summon a minimum of two units of daemons a turn, preferably three; cast cursed earth from a central location, and bring out at least one herald.  That's right, I want you to summon 285-400 points of units a turn.

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Philosifelt - Being Done

The MiniWax polyurethane satin can yawns wide, inviting.  From it waft fumes that promise a change.  Each one in turn is pulled up, attached to the mechano-harness, baptized.  They emerge different, the fluid streaming down their faces a torrent of tears.  One-hundred seven of them disappear into the hungry silver mouth, one-hundred seven emerge.  They long for battle.  No shake of transport shall dislodge them.  No errant hand will shatter their limbs.  They are...finished.
There was a feeling of piquant sadness as I looked at the assembled hordes.  The waft of varnish fumes was harsh in my nostrils.  They gibbered.  More than a year.  Each one must represent an hour of hobbying, from their exquisite kitbashes to their custom bases.  Nearly an hour and a half a week went into them over the last eighteen months.  That's a lot of time to spend with anything.  There was no way that they could be good enough to justify that.  They just don't look good enough.  There's no going back.  Finished.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

eXtreme Kitbash - summoning circle bases

I finished painting all my infantry in time for the BA0 2014 - 40 Daemonettes, 36 Pink Horrors, 10 Plaguebearers and 24 Screamers.  I was proud of my accomplishment until I saw the amazing basing jobs that brought the nicest looking armies to the next level.  Since then, they've been languishing on primer-white bases, being less than they could be in tabletop pop.  I just added 20 Plaguebearers, and in the spirit of incremental gains, I decided it was time to base the whole army.
But we're talking 130 models here, and many of them are on slotta bases, fantasy square bases, popsicle sticks.  I wanted to use this opportunity to make my kitbashed, disparate army tie together.  It was also an opportunity to do break maintenance - after 50+ games, these models have lost a fair amount of arms and heads.  Start to finish, this has been the easiest and most satisfying way to improve the overall look of the army.

Friday, January 2, 2015

Tactica - Strengths & Weakneses of Daemons

Many have already written exhaustive Daemon tacticas, and with good reason - they are the best army.  The flesh-scribes and internet-servitors serve well as they churn out paragraphs of why bloodcrushers aren't so bad.  But they are bad, and I've never used a blood crusher.  So I don't feel confident writing about them. 
In the 41st millennium, there are commanders who bandy opinion far from the fields of war and there are those who soak those battlefields in their enemy's preferred circulatory fluid.  I am of the latter sort, so I'll tell you what I've learned.